I was once told that if you find arms to hold you at your weakest, eyes that see you at your ugliest, and a heart that will love you at your worst you have found true love! I actually believed that once! Once. It does not exist. It may exist, but I find myself at a constant tug of war with the existence of love. This crap only comes about during this time of year when people get together and eat turkey, talking bullshit about what if's and what not. My peer with whom I find quite interesting lately, though hes always so mentally distant, pointed that out. Mentally distant meaning he only lets me peek into his mind. I can't read him and that's a first. I think I have to research that later.
He said plainly love doesn't exist. Its excuse words to hold someone close because you don't have a clue what to do with them. I don't fully agree but hes becoming one of the most logical people in my little circle and he does have a point. Why else would you tell someone you love them? You want to build bonds, become closer or connect on a deeper level. Why not just show them? Since my new existence calls for an untitled lifestyle, telling someone I love them has a completely different meaning. And since I have been feeling devilish and UN feeling lately, still of a mind to think love is just a chemical reaction from breathing in someones pheromones too deeply! The logical side of me won't think it any other way. But I digress, enough about science and love.
I actually have no regrets about anything I have done lately. I don't control any ones actions but my own. There may be a little rain sometimes but that's not because of me. I'm just a great meteorologist. But I am feeling a bit remorseful that I didn't get to say goodbye to old friends when it was the end. Or I'm a little annoyed when my friends play peek-a-boo with my affections. Maybe I have become a little bitter Wiccan, but I'm not casting any spells or preaching any new foresight. Everyone can fully lay in the beds they make without me giving my two cents. Maybe my constant insomnia has me thinking silly thoughts. Maybe I'm just craving a Bon Bon dipped in peanut butter and banana ice cream with sprinkles or I just need to be fucked to sleep daily; either one of the two would do me fine! This year ending and New Year coming has me thinking a change is coming for 2010. We'll see.
He said plainly love doesn't exist. Its excuse words to hold someone close because you don't have a clue what to do with them. I don't fully agree but hes becoming one of the most logical people in my little circle and he does have a point. Why else would you tell someone you love them? You want to build bonds, become closer or connect on a deeper level. Why not just show them? Since my new existence calls for an untitled lifestyle, telling someone I love them has a completely different meaning. And since I have been feeling devilish and UN feeling lately, still of a mind to think love is just a chemical reaction from breathing in someones pheromones too deeply! The logical side of me won't think it any other way. But I digress, enough about science and love.
I actually have no regrets about anything I have done lately. I don't control any ones actions but my own. There may be a little rain sometimes but that's not because of me. I'm just a great meteorologist. But I am feeling a bit remorseful that I didn't get to say goodbye to old friends when it was the end. Or I'm a little annoyed when my friends play peek-a-boo with my affections. Maybe I have become a little bitter Wiccan, but I'm not casting any spells or preaching any new foresight. Everyone can fully lay in the beds they make without me giving my two cents. Maybe my constant insomnia has me thinking silly thoughts. Maybe I'm just craving a Bon Bon dipped in peanut butter and banana ice cream with sprinkles or I just need to be fucked to sleep daily; either one of the two would do me fine! This year ending and New Year coming has me thinking a change is coming for 2010. We'll see.
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