I was tickled purple the other day by a comment that under normal circumstances I would not take seriously. I was told that I was the most beautiful woman this person had ever been with. Well of course I realized that blindness had overcome this individual or that an epileptic seizure had twisted their perception of beauty. Then lastly, I thought since I am such a beautiful soul and endearing caricature of a person that my winning personality that is known to all who have known me more than twenty minutes had wowed this lovely individual. Since I am an Archaeologist in training I decided to do some digging (no pun intended). I first went over the background check I had done on this individual long ago, and decided that this persons diet had improved since knowing me, and their was no history of dementia. I went through all of the pictures of the exes since there is kept a detailed list of all, ranging from body type, personality, blood type (just kidding) and other features I dare say I wouldn't mention here without making all of you blush!
I was almost worried for a nanosecond, but, I have never had to compete for the affections of another. I have never had to worry in my adult life about being the other woman or ever having to worry about "other women syndromes" and the low self esteem that comes with competing with things greater than yourself; knowing you will never win, kind of, superior junk (I know that was a mouthful.) I started to wonder if this individual was under the influence of a narcotic or other hallucinogenic drug but the blood tests and urine samples came back negative.
I checked this individuals vision for blind spots and suggested seeing a doctor for tests which I could gain access to easily, because near death experiences sometimes bring out a Florence Nightingale syndrome; but since I hadn't run into on-coming traffic to save someone recently I knew this wasn't the case. I checked my past blogs and noticed no new kudos or new comments and no naughty language was pressed towards this individual which was a relief at least on my part. I even checked old photos of myself and realized that even though the poundage had been reduced thirty or forty pounds in the last few months, my lovely face hadn't changed much during that time so I was relieved and yet puzzled as to where that comment came from.
Still tickled royal purple by the comment and wondering if my skin would survive the blushing. I drank a jug of water picked my nose and just came out and asked: "Why for say you that I may be fairest in the land?" The question I posed took this individual by surprise and as this individual furrowed their brow and pursed their lips to answer I said I needed to lie down on a comfy couch to await what was the cause of this delusional outburst.
This individual laughed and held themselves for a brief moment then fell asleep without answering my question. I was more confused than I could stand. I waited with baited breath and wondered why a simple direct answer wasn't given since this person has never held their tongue in their life except when they knew I would be angry. I was still sitting across from this comment bearing culprit when they awoke and stated simply: "You just are and I love you," then my lovely husband rolled over and went back to sleep.
I was almost worried for a nanosecond, but, I have never had to compete for the affections of another. I have never had to worry in my adult life about being the other woman or ever having to worry about "other women syndromes" and the low self esteem that comes with competing with things greater than yourself; knowing you will never win, kind of, superior junk (I know that was a mouthful.) I started to wonder if this individual was under the influence of a narcotic or other hallucinogenic drug but the blood tests and urine samples came back negative.
I checked this individuals vision for blind spots and suggested seeing a doctor for tests which I could gain access to easily, because near death experiences sometimes bring out a Florence Nightingale syndrome; but since I hadn't run into on-coming traffic to save someone recently I knew this wasn't the case. I checked my past blogs and noticed no new kudos or new comments and no naughty language was pressed towards this individual which was a relief at least on my part. I even checked old photos of myself and realized that even though the poundage had been reduced thirty or forty pounds in the last few months, my lovely face hadn't changed much during that time so I was relieved and yet puzzled as to where that comment came from.
Still tickled royal purple by the comment and wondering if my skin would survive the blushing. I drank a jug of water picked my nose and just came out and asked: "Why for say you that I may be fairest in the land?" The question I posed took this individual by surprise and as this individual furrowed their brow and pursed their lips to answer I said I needed to lie down on a comfy couch to await what was the cause of this delusional outburst.
This individual laughed and held themselves for a brief moment then fell asleep without answering my question. I was more confused than I could stand. I waited with baited breath and wondered why a simple direct answer wasn't given since this person has never held their tongue in their life except when they knew I would be angry. I was still sitting across from this comment bearing culprit when they awoke and stated simply: "You just are and I love you," then my lovely husband rolled over and went back to sleep.
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